Let the Wind Blow unto thy Face

It was a rainy day that day when it first happened. He was the last person on Earth I expected, or even wanted, to meet. He was at the right place at the wrong time.

“Mary,” he said when he recognized me.

“If it isn’t the biggest jerk in the world,” I replied coldly. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“How’s Annie?” he asked, disregarding my question.

“How’s Annie? That’s what you ask me right now? How dare you!” I yelled out in fury. “You even have the balls to ask about her?”

“I know what I did was wrong, but I want to talk to her, please, Mary,” he pleaded. My eyes felt like going out of their sockets.

I looked around, people were starting to look. I took a breath. “Look, I haven’t killed anyone and I don’t want to make a start right here,” I hissed. “Get out of my sight, and never show up in front of me again if you still value your life. Sarah, let’s go. I said, let’s go!”

Sarah, my manager, quickly caught up to me. We reached the parking lot but he was still following us.

“Mary, I really loved your sister, but—“ that was the final blow.

“Loved my sister? If you did then why is she crying her heart out begging our aunt to take her away from this country right now? If you did then how did you fall for another girl? If you did, she would be there in your mind all the time and you wouldn’t even dare look at another girl,” I felt my voice shake at the same time my fists did. “If you did, she wouldn’t be fighting with our parents right now. She wouldn’t hate me right now. Do you know that with what you did, you didn’t only hurt her, you tore my life apart too?”

His eyes grew wider. “Mary, I—“

“Which is why, you better get out of my sight now! I don’t want to dirty my hands with someone like you,” I stopped shaking and had my eyes firm on him. At that very moment, he suddenly fell, holding his hand to his chest.

“Mary!” I almost fell too, if Sarah didn’t catch me in time. I turned my head slowly to her.

“S-Sarah, what happened?” Sarah shook her head. “I didn’t do anything, right? You saw it too, right?”

Sarah nodded her head and guided me inside the car. She quickly called for the mall’s management. Everything passed by like a blur after that. Next thing I know, the police were bombarding me and Sarah with questions.

When the autopsy result came out, it was found that his heart stopped beating, not exactly like a heart attack, but it stopped beating. The whole show business was in a buzz. “Mary Powell, murderer or not?” was the leading news topic everywhere.

“Don’t worry, Mary, we’ve already released a statement about it, that you are in too much shock after seeing someone die right in front of you, everyone’s taking your side, your fans club even sent a big ‘Be Strong’ bouquet,” Sarah said, showing me a really large bouquet of assorted flowers.

It was a long time before I finally got to move on after that. Overloaded with work, the year passed and I had no time to think about it anymore. Two films to shoot for the year, a drama series every week, a dozen of ads, both print and TV commercial, and at least one modeling stint every month, my schedule was packed.

But maybe it was exactly because of the tight schedule that I got too tired and weary. I wanted just a day of rest.

“Cut! Martin, what’s the problem with you today?” we’ve been doing this take several times already.

“Cut out the awkwardness, Martin, this is work,” I said in a sharp voice.

“Don’t you even feel a bit uneasy working with me, Mary?” he asked.

“Because I keep work separate from my personal life,” I turned and took the water a crew gave me.

“But still—“

“It was you who cheated back then! Why would I be the one uneasy? With what you’re doing you’re just reminding me of what happened back then, so cut it out,” I said, my weariness starting to get the better of me.

“So you really haven’t forgotten about that, I’m sorry,” he said and lowered his head.

“I told you to cut it out! You’re sorry? That’s the only thing you can say to me? There are many guys out there wanting to get my heart, but it was already with you. Do you know how much pain I felt when I saw her on your lap that night at the club? Martin Carson goes out with another woman behind Mary Powell’s back, in public! Did you enjoy making a fool out of me? I’ve already forgotten about that a long, long time ago, but when Brad cheated on my sister, did you know that what you did flooded my mind? I totally understood how my sister was feeling. Why she couldn’t stop that stabbing pain in her heart, I also asked myself that. Why I’m feeling this when it’s you who did wrong? Why I feel like being stabbed when you’re the one who deserved that?” I knew that everything I said cut through his heart. “Words can’t express how hurt I was back then, just like how words can’t kill a person, Martin. But if it can, you would have been dead a long time ago.”

It’s been a year and I managed to forget the feeling when someone dies in front of you by getting busy with work. I never thought I’d experience it again until that time when I looked up and Martin suddenly fell in front of me, just like that time with Brad.

Everyone in the set knew I didn’t do anything. There was a good deal of distance between Martin and me at that time. I didn’t even have anything that I could have thrown at him, besides the water bottle, but all it did was drop from my hand when I saw Martin in front of me, dead with his eyes open.

I just came home from taking a walk in the streets. I leaned on the door I had just closed behind me, panting. I literally crawled to the kitchen to grab something to drink. As I gulped down the water from the bottle, I thought about it.

The man selling apples on the street wasn’t the same man I remembered selling apples there.

“Why, didn’t you know, I’ve been selling here for half a year now! The old man died half a year ago…”

Martin wasn’t the second one. It was that man selling apples. I was in a really irritated mood then. My aunt had just called to say that my sister had been hospitalized, so I was jogging to relieve my stress but then I received a call saying that there was an emergency re-filming of the scene that took a week to film perfectly and I had to go at once. I was hurrying back to my house when I remembered I had run out of coffee. Sarah and I stopped by a coffee shop to grab a quick breakfast but we were mobbed by my fans. I had to force a smile despite my weariness and it took a long time before we were able to get out. We ran back to the house when that man selling apples accidentally placed a box of apples right on my path. I tripped over it and that I just lost my cool. I poured all of my irritation on the poor old man with tongue-slashing words. At that moment, the old man suddenly fell and died in front of me.

“I haven’t killed anyone and I don’t want to make a start right here…”

“Why don’t you all just die?”

“just like how words can’t kill a person, Martin. But if it can, you would have been dead a long time ago…”

I don’t know how it’s possible, but no matter how much you look at it, it’s true. I, Maria Carlotta de Silva Powell, popularly known as Mary Powell, internationally-acclaimed actress, have become a murderer.

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